Crazee Burger... Crazy Unique

Choices... Life is about choices and free will. If you don't believe me, ask Eve. She had free will and she jacked it up for all of us. Seriously, who wants an apple? No snake in the entire world could convince me to eat fruit, not even a talking snake (although it'd be way awesome to see a talking snake). Eating fruit is actively going out of your way by making a choice to piss off your taste buds and send them into lynch mode. Now if a talking snake came up to me and bribed me to eat a 60oz Porterhouse in exchange for a sense of "divinity", that story would have a different ending.

Ok, back to burgers. Choices, life is smothered with choices. And Tioli's Crazee Burger in no way deprives you of your capability to go a bit crazy with your burger, hence the pun in the restaurant name. I had mentioned in an earlier blog that In-N-Out is the king of burger customization, and while that statement may have some truth to it, it definitely doesn't offer variety like this place. Crazee Burger offers such a mad variety of cow meat choices (not mad cow... mad variety), each paired with its own hankering of unique variety of burger toppings, that it puts Baskin Robbin's 31 measly flavors to shame.

We chose to go to Crazee's North Park location and while I could spend an entire blog simply writing about the decor, I'll only touch upon one thing that caught my eye: As soon as I sat down, I noticed that the Mona Lisa in the corner was smoking a blunt. Now I'm not sure if that is alluding to her preparing for her burger mackdown by undergoing a self-applied case of the munchies, or if it's just there to make people do a double (sometimes triple) take. It wasn't anything too distracting, but it did make me ponder, and it definitely goes hand in hand with the menu.

Speaking of the menu... Let's talk about it.

This restaurant, claimed by several to be the best in all of San Diego (which in my opinion is somewhat a stretch), has about 30 burgers to choose from on their menu, not to mention customizations that can be added to the burgers. I will give them the credit for variety; they definitely have the best variety in San Diego when it comes to different meats in the foundation of your hamburger ranging from buffalo, wild boar, ostrich, gator, and even venison. Uniqueness is huge when it comes to burger creativity and Crazee Burger is cream of the crop in San Diego. As for being the best overall burger, it may need some work.

Dom and I split two different burgers. Just to give a small back story, we like to go to the restaurant/burger hole under review and get something classic on the menu as well as something kind of "out there" that is specific and unique to that one restaurant. We just like to invest our time wisely... like a timely placed whoopie cushion. And this method gives the restaurant a roundabout opportunity to show us what it can do in our one trip, as well as to give us a glimpse into the restaurant's character.

I'll let Dom get into the specifics of the burger, but let me just say leading into his review: I have a new understanding for the scene from the Lion King where Nala tries to hunt and kill Pumba. I used to hate grown-up Nala because she was trying to tear into Simba's brother from another mother. But taste the burger we had, and you'll know what I mean.

Dominic's Crazee Story:

"crazyyyyy..im crazy for feeling so lonelyyyy"..ah thank you Mr. Willie Nelson for these infatuating lyrics that Patsy Cline so rudely took the claim to fame for. For some reason when I hear the word 'crazy', that song pops in to my head and that is exactly what happened when Justin asked me to join him in a Crazee Burger feast.

I really enjoyed how the restaurant is set up. It has a great small, local burger joint feel to it. Half restaurant/half bar... beer and burgers? Yes please! In my opinion the burger menu was great, every burger was different...different types of meat, cheeses, sauces, everything. It was difficult to narrow down the burgers with all the different choices we had, but the decision to go with a "standard" cheeseburger piled with toppings of our choice- bacon (x2), avocado, and the classics, and also splitting a "crazee" burger was great, I'd recommend any crazee first timer to do this.

The crazee burger that we ate was Ebi the Wild Boar burger. What I wouldn't give to spoon a boar in the wild... Here's what came on the burger: poached red wine pear, mushrooms, bacon, cream, and plum jelly. The fact that it had wild boar as the patty was exactly what drew our attention to this burger. It was very different from any other burger simply because of the accessories between the buns. The boar meat was delightful. To be honest I was not too fond of the pear, but I do appreciate the fact that they went for the "salty then sweet" pallet smacker with the bacon/pear/cream/jelly combo (as the picture to the left prominently displays). I recommend trying this burger! I definitely would like to go back to try more weird, burgers that make you go, "hmmmm...". Next on the list, gator? Kangaroo? Antelope? Oh baby!

Justin's Rating of the Crazee Burger

Meat quality: 5, Creativity/Accessories: 3, Bun: 2, Size: 3, Price: 3, Overall: 16 out of 25

First thing's first, when you go on a quest for the best burger in your region, you're looking for beef. Like a Curves member in relapse, you want the hot juicy stuff. And although I would've never dreamt it up in my search for the best burger, the wild boar is a fantastic option. There was so much flavor, and so much heartiness that it caused some drool to sputter down my cheek. The only two things that didn't make me stand up and applaud for this burger right there in the restaurant were the choices of toppings, and the bun. The intention of the burger was there, but no points are earned for trying. Actually ok, I lied, 3 points in Creativity were earned for trying. The combination of the cream, the mushrooms, and the pear really just didn't compliment the quality of beef found in the boar. In no way did it taste bad to where I wouldn't have it again, but in the search for SoCal's BEST Burger, it didn't exactly make my insides gleam. The bun was nothing too special. For someone who appreciates the finer qualities to offering variety in meat madness (so mad it's crazee! Plug intended), they sure lack on the variety of buns.

Dominic's Rating of the Crazee Burger

Meat quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 5, Bun: 2, Size: 3, Price: 3, Overall: 17 out of 25

I gave the meat quality a 4 because of the different varieties of meats and the boar was surprisingly tasty! The creativity and accessories I gave a 5 because of the amount of thought that was obviously put in to these burgers.. just read the menu on their website, it's very respectable in the burger world. The bun was average nothing special, Id like to see them compliment the burgers with different types of buns..take it to a whole new Crazee level! As far as the size to price ratio, it is worth the money.