Sinfully Delicious- Smashburger part Deux

As we said in our previous blog post, smashburger is quickly becoming a San Diego favorite. I have heard nothing but great things from everyone about this place ever since our last post went up. In case you missed it, check it out here, it's full of critically acclaimed goodness.

So this will be a pretty quick review since it's a restaurant that we've done before. We'll hit you with the basics of what you need to know, but unfortunately we'll be cutting the spooning session short this time, metaphorically speaking of course. After word got out from our last blog update, smashburger contacted us directly (and you can also: socalbestburger@gmail.com). They invited us to come back a second time and try their... wait for it... SECRET MENU. Now we all know about In-N-Out's secret menu due to my and Dominic's very first public post at this burger blogging craze. And at closer look, the secret menu at In-N-Out is just a glorified customization template. But this smashburger secret menu is one to take the cake... so much so that Buddy Valastro, the Cake Boss of New Jersey, would stop and say, "Oh ya, I know cake, and that burger just took it" (omg... I apologize for that reference, sometimes I even amaze myself). Anyway, the menu has a burger that can only be found in Vegas unless you know about it, a shake to make your taste buds want to hibernate, and an anything but ubiquitous sample of sides.

So with the invitation from smashburger, a BIG thank you to smashburger by the way, came the tempting offer to try this illustrious Sin City Burger, named rightfully for its origin, Las Vegas. Except this time (and this time only) what happened in Vegas, I'm telling everybody!

Here's a description of the burger that we got to try:

Sin City Smashburger – originally crafted with the Vegas ‘city that never sleeps’ lifestyle in mind, it features 100% fresh, never frozen, certified angus beef, placed on an egg bun, then topped with a fried egg, applewood smoked bacon, melted American cheese, grilled onions and haystack onions, and the signature smash sauce.

If the description alone doesn't get to you, then allow this picture to access your drool glands (Just a side note to all of our readers: We will always use personally taken photos of our food to give it authenticity. We want to show you the presentation of the every day meal):

The picture of this burger can't do justice to the taste of it.  It was cooked fantastically, very juicy (almost too juicy to the point of messy, but in a good way). To put it into perspective, this burger is more juicy than the gossip surrounding Kim Kardashian's divorce. This burger was so juicy that if I were to sit here and go into detail about the juiciness and tastiness of this burger, then the more I describe it, the more my words would sound like the makings of a romance novel. On top of the great burgers, smashburger has some tempting sides and shakes. Dominic will get into the shake that we were given to try, but the sides are in wide variety from your basic side of fries, to the signature Smashfries, all the way to the other side of the spectrum where the fried pickles come into play; their sides almost vary as much as the selection of burgers they carry.

Before I let your eyes and ears get wrapped in the linguistic web of Dominic's opinion of the secret menu, smashburger wanted to announce some of the specials that they're currently running:

• November 11-13 - Free fries for all military active duty and veterans (French Fries, Smashfries, or Sweet Potato, no purchase required
• November 14 through New Year's - Holiday Cinnamon Shake, $5 Smashbucks for every $25 gift card purchased
• November 17 - New Location (for our San Diego North County friends): Grand Opening in Vista.

What Dominic has to say:

Going in to smashburger for the second time with the thought of "Sin-City" and "secret menu" on my mind, really had me trying to guess what this next burger experience was going to be like. Was it going to be like the time Justin and I went to Vegas while I was on crutches with a busted foot and got gnarly armpit rashes, got everyone possible to sign my cast, sat at the club watching Justin having a dance-off with a middle aged man on a Wednesday night? Or was this going to be the burger experience of a life time, as if we were with Charlie Sheen in his prime, in Vegas, WINNING, drinking tiger blood, and waking up the next morning on the roof of Planet Hollywood?

Well, it just so happened that this second experience at smashburger will keep me and Justin coming back for more! The items on the secret menu that we tried were the Sin-City Burger and the PB&J Shake...uhhhhh PHENOMENAL! This blows any other secret menu out of the water...don't get me wrong the in-n-out menu is delightful as well, but if the Snyder family (in-n-out founders) could see what smashburger has offered they would really want to step their game up! If any of you burger lovers out there have never tried a burger with a fried egg on it, you are missing out on some SERIOUS nirvana. You need to get to smashburger now and see for yourself what all this hype is about. Also, the PB&J shake? It was love at first sip. The strawberry and nutter butter together made for a real tasty treat! Get in to smashburger and get this combo ASAP.

Justin's Rating of the Sin City smashburger

Meat quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 4, Bun: 3, Size: 4, Price: 4, Overall: 19 out of 25
I enjoy the fried egg on the burger, and the juiciness of the meat was fantastic, yet the patty played jump rope with the point of being too messy for me. It was almost to the point where I'd need a napkin for each bite that I took. Also, the ONLY reason that I didn't toss a '5' on the Creativity/Accessories category was because I've seen this done before, it didn't make me think twice before I bit into it thinking that it's a risky move. I've seen the fried egg and onions combo on a burger before. And as for the bun, I see it paired with a fluffy sourdough bun to bring out a tad more flavor. But I'm not going to sell smashburger short... they did their job in making me want to come back. It was a great burger, definitely on the list of my top burgers so far. This will definitely cure any type of Vegas style hangover you may have.

Dominic's Rating of the Sin City smashburger
Meat quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 5, Bun: 4, Size: 4, Price: 4, Overall: 21 out of 25

Like I said before, if you haven't had a fried egg on your burger before..this is the one to try. The way thy pieced this burger together deserves a 5 out of 5 on the creativity scale. The egg bun was fluffy and added that little extra flavor every burger deserves. And like always at smashburger, for the size/quality/quantity, the price is great.

Giving to Charity Never Tasted So Good

Not until after Dominic and I checked this next burger barn off our list did we start noticing this, but smashburger is all the talk around the So Cal burgersphere. It's even been quoted as a "smashing good time" (actually quoted by the blog's own contributor, Dominic... while many attribute the quote to Sir Austin Powers). But the restaurant's burger buzz is the new sensation hitting the streets of San Diego, and now we know why...

Before we get started on reviewing the cornerstone menu item from smashburger, the San Diego burger, we have another burger worth talking about:

I have to admit that the reason we even came across smashburger in the first place wasn't due to the talk around town about it being the best burger to be compiled in the history of "bun meets patty", yet it was through an interesting marketing campaign in which they joined forces with AJ in the Morning on Star 94.1 FM, a local radio station morning show in San Diego. AJ hosts an annual Toy Drive every Christmas season called AJ's Kids to benefit the patients of Rady Children's Hospital (more information can be found here). However, this year, he enlisted the support of smashburger to increase his efforts and reduce his time dangling above the Earth in a crane (crazy right? I'm telling you... see the above link). AJ created a burger to be added to the smash menu, specifically to aid his charity's efforts. $1 from every AJ's Kids burger purchased from smashburger will go to support the cause. And it wasn't until I heard the description of the burger that I knew that we HAD to get involved. There's absolutely nothing Dominic and I love more than giving to charity if it involves eating good food. Which reminds me... if anyone creates a burrito to support a charity, make sure I give you my emergency contact number. But nothing too special about this AJ's Kids burger jumped out at us in the beginning; it's your typical burger with Cheddar cheese instead of traditional American, onion, ketchup, mustard, and the trademark smashsauce, but it wasn't until the I heard the final ingredient that jolted me in front of my laptop looking for the nearest smashburger location. For the selling point of the charity burger: fried pickles. You heard me right, FRIED pickles!! (You wouldn't know this, but I almost just typed 'friend prickers'... lol)

Now there might be some skeptics out there as soon as they hear the words fried pickles, but let me tell you... wow-zers. Fried Pickles to this burger is like gravy to mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving... or anything really... gravy is amazing. Side note: I would've preferred Jesus turned water into gravy rather than wine. Church would be more entertaining, that's for sure. And if that were the case, I would be spending my every waking moment working on a way to perfect time travel to go back to Jesus times and have some Last Supper covered in gravy. So if that doesn't give you an idea as to how good this burger is with the fried pickles, then call your local doctor because you must have no sensation left in your taste buds. Overall, it was a fantastic burger, very juicy and the smashsauce was a phenomenal touch but the only recommendation that Dominic and I would make to anyone looking to order AJ's Kids burger, is to get your onions grilled. It puts the burger to the next level of awesome, like awesome's twin but with better bone structure in the jawline.

Check out how you can help AJ's Kids too by clicking here!!

Back to the review of smashburger as a whole:

When the restaurant first popped up in SD, I was under the impression (I think Dominic was too) that smashburger was just another food chain restaurant trying to make its market presence known in San Diego, maybe to take away some of the steam from Five Guys Burgers... btw Five Guys has yet to be invaded by our golden buds of taste, but it's on the to-do list. But once we did hear about it from AJ's morning show, we knew it was something that we had to try. And we are so happy that we did. Although I would describe this restaurant as more of a fast food type of layout, the taste was anything except fast food quality. And this applied to everything we tried on the menu: from AJ's Kids burger, to the San Diego burger, all the way down to the smashfries.

I'm going to let Dominic go into his feelings about the San Diego burger in just a minute, but I wanna kick things off here by saying that this burger absolutely epitomizes what I imagine a bite of San Diego tastes like, except it could use bacon. If you threw Sea World, the Beach, local craft breweries, the monkeys at the zoo, Coronado (both the bridge and Hotel Del), and the Gaslamp Quarter into a burrito, that's what this burger tastes like, but with less salt water ocean taste from the beach. I think that it's the cilantro combined with the pepper jack cheese and avocado that gives the burger its unique taste. So let's end our time and burger conversation on that note. Check out my in depth review of the SD burger below... but in the mean time, catch in with Dominic and see his opinion of smashburger and whether he thinks the burger is just another burger or if he tasted unicorn topped with Santa sprinkles on his take of the burger.

Dominic's take of the smashing burger:

Lets put it this way for all you burger fiends out there… smashburger is to the burger kingdom as Justin Bieber is to every teenage girl’s dreams. As a matter of fact, I do recall my good pal and fellow burger connoisseur Justin was strolling through this fine restaurant singing “baby, baby, baby ohhhhhhh!!!” in excitement to bite into AJ’s Burger and any other burger that got put in front of our faces!

AJ's Burger is probably the coolest charitable donation I have ever made. Why? Because you’re giving to a great charity as well as eating an incredible burger. It took my taste buds on a magical roller coaster ride! As Justin described before, it is a very basic burger, but the fried pickles make this burger taste great. You can really taste the batter that the pickles are dipped in with every bite. I recommend this burger to everyone going to smashburger, not only because it is for a good cause, but because I have yet to try any burger like it in Southern California!

We tried another burger, the San Diego Burger. Whoever came up with this burger creation really knew exactly how to put the “typical” San Diego cuisine in to burger form. Here is what is on this Smashburger: Fresh avocado, fresh cilantro, onions, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, sour cream, spicy chipotle mayo on a torta roll served with a wedge of lime. I couldn’t have done better myself trying to think of what would represent San Diego between two buns. It was one of the most refreshing burgers I have ever tasted. Refreshing burger? How could a burger possibly be refreshing?? Well, smashburger uses only the freshest ingredients on their menu and on this piece of art it especially showed. It was a perfect amount of grub if you are looking for a satisfied stomach, instead of the comatose a lot of other grease burger joints will give you. Woah woah woah! Don’t get me wrong here… I do enjoy being put in a greasy bacon, beefy, cheesy coma from time to time, but at smashburger, I put them in a different ‘burger bracket’ if you will. I’m very excited to say that we have been invited back to Smashburger to try more delicious burgers and tell all you burger lovers out there more about this great place!

Justin's Rating of the San Diego smashburger

Meat quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 4, Bun: 4, Size: 3, Price: 4, Overall: 19 out of 25

Let me start off by saying that my first bite into this burger was definitely one worth remembering, mostly because Dominic kicked me as I sank my teeth into the meat marvel. Aside from my shin bruising, this burger was quite remarkable compared to what I imagined it to be in my head. The meat was juicy, it was topped with all the right ingredients: the mix of cilantro, pepper jack cheese, and small bite of sour cream paired with the onion blended perfectly with the signature smashsauce. It had the right amount of kick, the right amount of tart, and the right amount of savor all swirled into one bite. And each bite following mimicked the leader. All in all great burger, great torta, great price. For $8 and some change including the smashfries (which are standard fries tossed with olive oil, garlic, and rosemary), I'd definitely revisit to try the rest of the menu.


Dominic's Rating of the San Diego smashburger
Meat quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 5, Bun: 4, Size: 3, Price: 4, Overall: 20 out of 25

One of the first things we look for in a burger is the quality of the patty, how juicy it is and the flavors, etc. smashburger really knows how to cook a patty right! I give the creativity and accessories a 5 because of the way the burger names really match the burger style perfectly. The buns were great, especially the different styles of buns that they have to offer. For the size, quality, tastiness, with a side of fries and a drink this burgers price is great too!

Crazee Burger... Crazy Unique

Choices... Life is about choices and free will. If you don't believe me, ask Eve. She had free will and she jacked it up for all of us. Seriously, who wants an apple? No snake in the entire world could convince me to eat fruit, not even a talking snake (although it'd be way awesome to see a talking snake). Eating fruit is actively going out of your way by making a choice to piss off your taste buds and send them into lynch mode. Now if a talking snake came up to me and bribed me to eat a 60oz Porterhouse in exchange for a sense of "divinity", that story would have a different ending.

Ok, back to burgers. Choices, life is smothered with choices. And Tioli's Crazee Burger in no way deprives you of your capability to go a bit crazy with your burger, hence the pun in the restaurant name. I had mentioned in an earlier blog that In-N-Out is the king of burger customization, and while that statement may have some truth to it, it definitely doesn't offer variety like this place. Crazee Burger offers such a mad variety of cow meat choices (not mad cow... mad variety), each paired with its own hankering of unique variety of burger toppings, that it puts Baskin Robbin's 31 measly flavors to shame.

We chose to go to Crazee's North Park location and while I could spend an entire blog simply writing about the decor, I'll only touch upon one thing that caught my eye: As soon as I sat down, I noticed that the Mona Lisa in the corner was smoking a blunt. Now I'm not sure if that is alluding to her preparing for her burger mackdown by undergoing a self-applied case of the munchies, or if it's just there to make people do a double (sometimes triple) take. It wasn't anything too distracting, but it did make me ponder, and it definitely goes hand in hand with the menu.

Speaking of the menu... Let's talk about it.

This restaurant, claimed by several to be the best in all of San Diego (which in my opinion is somewhat a stretch), has about 30 burgers to choose from on their menu, not to mention customizations that can be added to the burgers. I will give them the credit for variety; they definitely have the best variety in San Diego when it comes to different meats in the foundation of your hamburger ranging from buffalo, wild boar, ostrich, gator, and even venison. Uniqueness is huge when it comes to burger creativity and Crazee Burger is cream of the crop in San Diego. As for being the best overall burger, it may need some work.

Dom and I split two different burgers. Just to give a small back story, we like to go to the restaurant/burger hole under review and get something classic on the menu as well as something kind of "out there" that is specific and unique to that one restaurant. We just like to invest our time wisely... like a timely placed whoopie cushion. And this method gives the restaurant a roundabout opportunity to show us what it can do in our one trip, as well as to give us a glimpse into the restaurant's character.

I'll let Dom get into the specifics of the burger, but let me just say leading into his review: I have a new understanding for the scene from the Lion King where Nala tries to hunt and kill Pumba. I used to hate grown-up Nala because she was trying to tear into Simba's brother from another mother. But taste the burger we had, and you'll know what I mean.

Dominic's Crazee Story:

"crazyyyyy..im crazy for feeling so lonelyyyy"..ah thank you Mr. Willie Nelson for these infatuating lyrics that Patsy Cline so rudely took the claim to fame for. For some reason when I hear the word 'crazy', that song pops in to my head and that is exactly what happened when Justin asked me to join him in a Crazee Burger feast.

I really enjoyed how the restaurant is set up. It has a great small, local burger joint feel to it. Half restaurant/half bar... beer and burgers? Yes please! In my opinion the burger menu was great, every burger was different...different types of meat, cheeses, sauces, everything. It was difficult to narrow down the burgers with all the different choices we had, but the decision to go with a "standard" cheeseburger piled with toppings of our choice- bacon (x2), avocado, and the classics, and also splitting a "crazee" burger was great, I'd recommend any crazee first timer to do this.

The crazee burger that we ate was Ebi the Wild Boar burger. What I wouldn't give to spoon a boar in the wild... Here's what came on the burger: poached red wine pear, mushrooms, bacon, cream, and plum jelly. The fact that it had wild boar as the patty was exactly what drew our attention to this burger. It was very different from any other burger simply because of the accessories between the buns. The boar meat was delightful. To be honest I was not too fond of the pear, but I do appreciate the fact that they went for the "salty then sweet" pallet smacker with the bacon/pear/cream/jelly combo (as the picture to the left prominently displays). I recommend trying this burger! I definitely would like to go back to try more weird, burgers that make you go, "hmmmm...". Next on the list, gator? Kangaroo? Antelope? Oh baby!

Justin's Rating of the Crazee Burger

Meat quality: 5, Creativity/Accessories: 3, Bun: 2, Size: 3, Price: 3, Overall: 16 out of 25

First thing's first, when you go on a quest for the best burger in your region, you're looking for beef. Like a Curves member in relapse, you want the hot juicy stuff. And although I would've never dreamt it up in my search for the best burger, the wild boar is a fantastic option. There was so much flavor, and so much heartiness that it caused some drool to sputter down my cheek. The only two things that didn't make me stand up and applaud for this burger right there in the restaurant were the choices of toppings, and the bun. The intention of the burger was there, but no points are earned for trying. Actually ok, I lied, 3 points in Creativity were earned for trying. The combination of the cream, the mushrooms, and the pear really just didn't compliment the quality of beef found in the boar. In no way did it taste bad to where I wouldn't have it again, but in the search for SoCal's BEST Burger, it didn't exactly make my insides gleam. The bun was nothing too special. For someone who appreciates the finer qualities to offering variety in meat madness (so mad it's crazee! Plug intended), they sure lack on the variety of buns.

Dominic's Rating of the Crazee Burger

Meat quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 5, Bun: 2, Size: 3, Price: 3, Overall: 17 out of 25

I gave the meat quality a 4 because of the different varieties of meats and the boar was surprisingly tasty! The creativity and accessories I gave a 5 because of the amount of thought that was obviously put in to these burgers.. just read the menu on their website, it's very respectable in the burger world. The bun was average nothing special, Id like to see them compliment the burgers with different types of buns..take it to a whole new Crazee level! As far as the size to price ratio, it is worth the money.

The Hat. Pastrami's Birthplace.

This restaurant is the pertinent reason that this blog is not held strictly within the San Diego County lines. The Hat, which comes to us outside of San Diego but still graces us with its presence in southern California, is a restaurant native to Los Angeles County and more specifically, San Gabriel Valley in a small town called Alhambra. (This topography lesson is brought to you by my 9th grade Geography teacher, Mrs. Scarbrough... and Wikipedia)

"World Famous Pastrami". Simple, savory, and oh-so-succulent. The Hat is famous for its pastrami, as it rightfully deserves to be. Pastrami sandwiches, Pastrami dips, and hell yes, Pastrami burgers.

Let me paint you a little word picture with my imagination brush... You are wandering throughout the desert, it's scorching hot, and it's been 4 days now. You've managed to survive on water dispelled from the cacti surrounding you. You've been walking for days and still haven't seen a single soul, nor is there any sign of an oasis near by. Basically you're like Moses, and your load of followers that you need to free from captivity are your taste buds; you haven't had a single bite to eat in over 100 hours, and now you're starting to reflect on every single meal that you have ever eaten in your life. The taste of your favorite meals, the smell of the playful aroma of a home cooked meal, the feeling of being full, they're all becoming more and more faint by the second. Imagine you are still wandering around, looking for anything to sink your teeth into that will stop the growling from your roaring stomach. And then you see it, a sign in the distance, it says "World's Best Pastrami". You don't care that you haven't had a bite to eat in almost a week because at this point you'll eat almost anything. But... your first meal just happens to be a hamburger piled high with all of your favorite toppings: lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, a slice of melted gooey cheese, and one juicy flavor-filled, tender pound of the best pastrami your stomach could dream of. You are finally able to wrap your hands around food, any food, to quiet the roaring belly beast. Now imagine what that first bite is going to taste like. Your mind and your body are going to go into shock therapy with the deliciousness of this palisade of beef topped with the best thing to come out of Romania since Dracula: Pastrami.

Did you imagine what that first bite tasted like? How good did that taste? Okay, get this... EVERY BITE of the Pastrami Burger from The Hat tastes as good as that first bite.

Dominic and I wanted to make the most of our trip up to this place, wasting no morsel of food during our drive. The closest location to San Diego is about 75 minutes up the 5 North, in Lake Forest. So we scaled up there, with Bon Jovi, Van Halen, and other various artists pumping us up on the drive. Somehow Dominic snuck some good old fashioned boy band music into the cavalcade, but that didn't slow us down. We didn't skip a beat. Going from "Panama" to "Backstreet's Back" really didn't break our rhythm. We were focused.

Once we arrived, we decided to order absolutely as much food as we could stuff onto our pallets to make the trip worthwhile. We obviously made the trip for the reputable pastrami burger, but we also heard some rumors about the chili fries, which we couldn't pass up. So we decided to order them both. However, we had way too much on our plate to handle; it was the same feeling the post-Josh Johnson Florida Marlins have every year before they start the season, thinking they can reach .500. Fans, the few and far between fans, just sit there shaking their heads in disbelief as the quest begins, only to fall short mid season and lose hope. That was us with this pile of food staring us in the gut, ready to battle. But we weren't going to go all Dontrelle Willis on this mountain of chow. (If you don't understand that reference, let me know. It's not the best one I could've thought up, but I wanted to stick with the Florida Marlins trail that I already committed to... essentially it means to start strong and finish like shit.) Once we started we didn't stop, just plowed our way through the trail of carbohydrates until we had no more feeling in our bodies, or our arteries.

One onlooker even shouted to test us for steroids (something that the Marlins may want to look into). To this day, no matter how full I was, or how badly I wanted to burst at that moment, it was the happiest I've ever been to not be able to move after a meal. The strategy to overcome this obstacle colossus became something as I could only describe as the "Joey Chestnut technique", which essentially comes down to eating so fast that your stomach doesn't have time to process the fact that it's too full and you're stuffed to the max. But definitely take your time to enjoy the juices from the pastrami to glide down your throat and sit atop your small intestine until your heart is clogged, and your cholesterol-filled valves are content.

Dominic:

Now I know what those brave soldiers that conquer Mount Everest feel like, it would be as if Everest were a mountain made of delicious pastrami and I had to eat my way up it. If I could describe this pastrami burger with one word it would be "pastramitasical"...yea thats right, pastrami mixed with phenomenal and fantastic. This burger was well worth the trip and would do it again any day. The way The Hat makes their pastrami so juicy and flavor filled blows my mind. The best part was the combination of different flavors in every bite.. the pastrami hits you like heaven, with a solid bite of beef to go along with the other treats in between the buns. To make the trip worth every penny we decided to go with the chili cheese fries. Which were also very good, but make you want to fall in to a slight coma for about 6 hours.. but hey, the things we do for some great grub right?! Right.

Justin's Rating of the Pastrami Burger (The chili fries were just for fun)

Meat quality: 5, Creativity/Accessories: 4, Bun: 2, Size: 4, Price: 3, Overall: 18 out of 25

My review isn't going to contain too many bad adjectives while revisiting my experience with The Hat. Taste was phenomenal, so was the creativity/presentation. It was different enough from your standard burger to make it worth trying, but didn't deviate too much trying to be something it's not. My only downside with this whole experience is that the bun would fall apart in the middle of your meat meltdown. The price is decent around the $7.50 price range, but you definitely get your money's worth. Did I mention filling?

Long story full: If you are looking for creativity from an ordinary burger, or if you are looking to stuff your face, or even just take a drive with your buddy to get out of the norm, I'd definitely recommend this trip to sink your teeth into some phenomenal pastrami with a side of burger.

Dominic's Rating of the Pastrami Burger

Meat quality: 5, Creativity/Accessories: 3, Bun: 2, Size: 4, Price: 3, Overall: 17 out of 25

The meat quality was great as I had said before, I've never tasted such juicy and tasty pastrami in my life, especially on a burger. The creativity of the burger was alright in my opinion, nothing too extravagant, but for us meat eaters it looked mighty fine! You got your average bun which could be better but when you got the size and the flavors that this burger does the lack of bun is ok.

In-N-Out. The 10x10 Challenge.

** In-N-Out. In-N-Out. That's what a hamburger's all about. **

The jingle sells the burger. I really don't need to write anything. But if I did that, then there wouldn't be any relevance to this blog, and I'd probably go back to concentrating on more important things in life other than the pursuit of patty perfection. However... I'm determined to wrap my mouth around that warm, juicy beef trophy, once we find it that is. So onward we tread.

Anyone living in the southwest region of the U.S. will testify to the statement that In-N-Out is arguably one of the best, if not the best, fast food burgers on the market. And I only say southwest region because the up-and-coming restaurant chain has yet to penetrate the mouths east of Nevada. It's really a no brainer that we needed to include In-N-Out on this list of qualifiable burgers in the competition. Some people list this as one of their favorite burgers, while others say it is a superior fast food burger but it's no match compared to some of the others out there. Which explains why there's absolutely no reason why it shouldn't at least be considered as a contestant. In-N-Out consistently has some of the freshest patties I've ever tasted from a burger hole that has a drive-thru, which is what keeps me coming back. The burger from which the restaurant gained its reputation is the iconic Double-Double. It stacks two freshly made patties on top of one another, each with it's own slice of American cheese, topped with crisp lettuce, tasty onion, and tomato. All of these classic ingredients are sandwiched by buns layered with In-N-Out's signature Spread sauce.

Since Dominic and I have eaten In-N-Out at least a hundred times together, we thought we'd do something a little different for this one. I mean, it is in fact our first stop on the train to So Cal burger stardom, so we can't just eat a burger and tell you how it is. That's not fair to our readers, and it's really not that fair to me. Because it really gets Dominic off the hook in his "commencement ceremony" embarking the journey. And I love to mess with him. So I chose torture.

For a little background, if you know anything about In-N-Out, then you know that a first timer might need a thesaurus just to place an order. I say this only because the restaurant has, in a way, its own vocabulary. This restaurant may only have 4 food items on the menu (hamburger, cheeseburger, Double Double, and french fries), but it is the king of burger customization. You can place an order from the "secret menu" that wraps your burger in lettuce instead of a bun to save on carbs (Protein Style, see picture left), you can order your meal with extra pickles and grilled onions (Animal Style), or only 2 patties, 2 slices of cheese and no bun (Flying Dutchman), followed by several other forms of modification too many to list here.

The one that Dominic and I flock to time and time again is the simple form of increasing the size of your burger. The standard Double Double is a 2x2 (2 slices of meat topped with 2 slices of cheese). You have the choice to upgrade your burger to a 3x3, 4x4, 2x4 (2 cheeses, 4 meats), etc. So we decided that it was best to go with something that really would test the restaurant's quality of their reputation, and order the 10x10. Unfortunately In-N-Out created a policy, most likely due to health related issues, that the biggest burger you can order is a 4x4. So we decided to each order 2 4x4's and a Flying Dutchman to give us the quantity of the 10x10, packed with an extra set of buns. So with this test we were determining whether size or any other aforementioned customizations affect the quality of this restaurant's burgers. This... is what it came out to be:

Now I'm not going to lie, the moment they called out my number and I got the first glance at the Sasquatch of fast food orders that you see here, I panicked a little. Getting cold feet before taking on a challenge such as this one is normal; it'd only be natural to look at a behemoth like this and start to wonder how it would all fit in the gut. Peeing yourself, however, is compliments of the house. We each consumed one of these "should be honorarily named to the 7 Great Wonders of the World" helpings of burger. And the moment that we were finished, literally the second I wiped away that last morsel of burger residue off my lip... regret set in. Now don't mistake me here. Regret in no way was piling itself onto my lower intestine due to the lack of quality or taste in this burger. It was solely due to the amount of food I just jammed down my throat. Have you ever been so hungry that you exclaimed you could eat a horse? After eating this, I will never make that statement again. My Great Wall of China is the 10x10 from In-N-Out. It wasn't necessarily too much for me to handle, but that much cheese really did me in. I went down faster than Kim Kardashian did for Reggie Bush. I had to be wheeled out to my car. I was so full that I was secretly hoping that someone in the drive thru would give me a ride to the other end of the parking lot to pick up my car. Well played, 10x10.



However, even though that the pain had set in from consumption, it in no way affected the quality of their food and/or presentation. My vote for this fast food chain still ranks highly compared to others in its category. But my recommendation for portion size is to probably stick to the main menu, unless you're packing Pepto.

Dominic:

My experience with this meat mammoth... if you plan on eating the infamous 10x10, I recommend having by your side: pepto and anything that will help you get the cheese and grease flowing through your insides faster than normal.. you can see where this is going. I will save you my personal details of the few days post 10x10. Once again me and Justin had this brilliant idea to stuff our faces just so we can say "yea, we ate that". The fact that we each ate this beast in just about 13 minutes each says a lot about us...we are pigs. This cheesy mess really did me dirty. In conclusion to this FML of an idea, I personally will never eat this again..I was plugged up longer than Richard Simmons on a friday night and let me tell you that it is not enjoyable! Final Score~ 10x10: 1 - Dominic: 0

Justin's Rating (Based on the Double-Double)

Meat quality: 3, Creativity/Accessories: 3, Bun: 2, Size: 2, Price: 5, Overall: 15 out of 25

While the meat quality is above what I've seen at other fast food places, it doesn't compare to some of the burgers I've tried. The lettuce and tomatoes are always fresh tasting, and the signature spread sauce is fantastic. The bun is that of a fast food chain caliber and the size of the standard Double Double is great for its price, but nothing in comparison to some I've seen. All in all, you're definitely getting more than your money's worth with this burger costing under $4.00.

Dominic's Rating (Based on the Double-Double)

Meat Quality: 4, Creativity/Accessories: 3, Bun: 2, Size: 2, Price: 5, Overall: 16 out of 25

In-n-out has always been a "go to" place for me to grub when in the mood for a quick burger. The freshness of all the ingredients is what attracts me the most as compared to other burger chains. The simplicity of the menu also makes it easy for the indecisive folk(such as myself) to make a quick selection. For the quality, size and freshness of this burger the price it is yet to be beat. Highly recommended for the quick burger craving!

Claim Jumper Restaurant - The Widow Maker

This burger from Claim Jumper Restaurant in La Mesa, CA is what inspired me to create this blog. I took this trip solo as my first stop along the burger haven to CJ's House O' Epic Meal Portions before I coerced Dominic into going on this trail of tears with me.

This burger is called the Widow Maker, and holy Jesus, that's exactly what it is...

This slice of Angus heaven, covered with a healthy layer of cheddary goodness, topped with slices of Applewood smoked meat candy (aka bacon) as well as 4 slices of avocado. I can only imagine that avocado is what God intended when he said forbidden fruit. No idea where Eve pulled out the horse manure idea of apples being the forbidden fruit; cite your sources Eve. Then it's piled on with crisp lettuce, savory onion, perfectly ripe tomato slices, and crispy onion rings (I chose without), all sandwiched between two giant, buttery Ciabatta rolls covered in a healthy layer of Mayo, Red Relish, and Thousand Island (optional) makes for one devilish combo.

Let me tell you... that first bite is completely indescribable. The combination of the sauces dripping into the perfectly cooked patty mixed with the Trio of Thunder (Avocado, Cheddar, and Bacon) just sends your 'buds into overdrive. If I could have sex with any burger, this just might be the one. But I wouldn't take advantage of this burger. It wouldn't be some drunken mistake where we sleep together, then awkwardly high five the next morning as I stumble out of its apartment. No. I would treat this burger with respect! I would take it out to a nice dinner (obviously not out for burgers because that's just cannibalism), to a movie, and then I would call a few days later. And we would be so happy together until one night... when I get a late night hunger attack, and make myself a widower.


Thus... the meaning that lies behind the legend that is the Widow Maker.

Justin's Rating
Meat Quality:  4, Creativity/Accessories: 4, Bun: 3, Size: 5, Price: 3,  Overall: 19 out of 25
The quality of this meat was cooked to almost absolute perfection with a thorough pink center; the meat juices spread throughout the entire burger, unfortunately it got to the point where it started making the bread soggy. The accessories and creativity were your classic bacon, avocado, cheddar cheese. Now if it were just those accessories, I'd consider a lower score. But the bacon was thick, the avocado fresh, and they offered it with onion rings and thousand island dressing which bumped it up on the scoring scale. The bun was nothing too special, but it was large enough to contain the mountain of meat piled high with condiments, so it got a good score. The size got a perfect score because afterward I was full. But it was the good kind of full; almost to the point where I couldn't move, but not quite. And the price was a little on the pricey side, coming in at just under $10 for a burger and fries. But I'm not complaining too much. I was happy when I left. I was 3 pounds heavier, but I was happy nonetheless.